Love itself is not irrational. In fact some very intelligent people have come very close to making sense of the factors that cause us to love. There are just so very many, it seems impossible or even pointless to determine them all. For even if we identify everything involved, the chance that any individual can consciously influence most of them at least in our lifetime would be slim. What is irrational however are the decisions we make as a result of being in love. Love insist upon itself in such a way that any rational decision made despite the existence of love suggests that you aren’t actually in love. In essence, in order to truly convince anyone of your love for them and even yourself, you must put ration aside. You must prove to them and yourself that you can live in the feeling absent any reason that suggests you probably shouldn’t. If someone doesn’t believe you love them, this is what you have neglected to show them. Love is essentially hope, hope that the person you feel it for will in fact not live up to your negative rational expectations. It is taking the chance that your intuition is flawed. This is why all your friends can give you the “what i would do if i were you” advice that makes you feel so weak or dumb for not doing it. The best defense against being irrationally in love is to have a strong offense. It is to screen potential candidates for their potential to fuck up. Unfortunately, the best way to never fall in love is to have a strong offense. If you want to experience love, you have to be open to the pain it promises to occasionally bring.
- Dante Devine